Secret Sorrow
by Knhaiade
Summary: "The deeper you love, the more painful it gets..." This story takes place the night before Karen Kasumi, a ten no ryuu, is killed in the X TV series...


**Note**: The story takes place the night before Karen Kasumi, a ten no ryuu or dragon of heaven, is killed in the X TV series. As in all the other X stories—movie, manga or television series—the facts surrounding Karen Kasumi and Seiichiro Aoki here in the story remain the same. Though both are born to become ten no ryuu, Karen and Seiichiro came from different backgrounds. Karen is a prostitute working in the Soap Land Flower club in Kabuki-cho, Shinjuku while Seiichiro is a devoted family man working at the Asuka Publishing House. Like the other two ten no ryuu Sorata Arisugawa and Arashi Kishu, they are almost always together as they fight the dragons of the earth or chi no ryuu. It is from that unlikely companionship between two persons from extreme opposites and the endearing moments surrounding it, fated or otherwise, where this story takes its inspiration from.

**Written by Knhaiade (the "Mama-san" of Kabuki-cho), with the significant insights and valuable help of Shinya, Yukino, and the people of "Kabuki-cho" --- Marcy, Minette, Joan, and Dan "The Good Boy".**

Secret Sorrow 

                Slipping out of the Soap Land Flower's back door, Karen is glad to get a breath of fresh air. She doesn't feel like working. _Not tonight. _A release from everything is what she needed. Buttoning up her white coat, she made her way into the dark back alleyways.

                A block away, Seiichiro Aoki alighted from a rented cab together with his superior and some colleagues from the Asuka Publishing House. The boss decided to treat them, so reluctantly, he phoned home earlier to tell his wife he'll be home very late. The thought of bantering with drunken men instead of eating the delicious dinner prepared by his wife and reading a bedtime story to his little girl made him sigh. He just scratched his head thinking of the long night ahead. As he entered the boss' choice of bar for the night, he caught a glimpse of a familiar pink-haired lady in white coat going inside the adjacent bar.

                _Karen-san,_ he thought. _Isn't she supposed to work tonight?_

                One of his colleagues nudged him towards the door so he wasn't able to confirm.

                After sitting through two hours of drinking and ribald jokes, Seiichiro was finally able to excuse himself. He felt a little tipsy even if he had the least drink among the guys. Going out, he loosened his tie. The heat is suffocating him. The thought of Karen popped in his mind when he passed by the adjacent bar. _Starlight Starlight, _the neon sign blinked. _It wouldn't hurt to check if she's still there._

                The place is a dimly-lit music lounge. A singles' bar obviously. His eyes searched around for that familiar curl-framed face and spotted her in the furthermost corner. Sitting alone at a table for two. Drinking. He approached her and from the empty glasses on the table, he could tell she had drunk a lot. She didn't even give a hint of recognition.

                "Karen-san," he greeted. She looked up to him with dazed eyes.

                "Why, even in my drunken stupor, you don't fail to appear, Aoki-san," she said, smiling. Perplexed, he sat on the empty chair. She took a liberal sip from her wine glass.

                "Karen-san, are you alright? I think you've drunk quite a lot…"

                Karen giggled.

                "Even in my hallucinations, you're still as thoughtful and as caring, Aoki-san," she said, studying his face with a mysterious smile. _So, she thinks I'm a figment of her imagination, _Seiichiro thought.

                "It's me, Karen-san. It's really me."

                "Oh, but what are you doing in this place? You should've been home hours ago with your family," she told him.

                "Ah well," he said, scratching his head, "My boss sponsored a drinking meeting. As you know, it's compulsory. I thought I saw you go inside this place. When I managed to go out, I wondered if you're still here and if you're okay so I dropped by. If you don't mind me asking, Karen-san, weren't you supposed to be working?"

                "I escaped. I wanted to relax. In my job, it's not like there are monthly awards for model employees," she said. She drank a gulp and shivered.

                "Do you feel alright, Karen-san?" he asked, leaning close to examine her.

                "I'm just a bit cold… but I'm fine."

                "I think you've drunk too many already," he said.

                "No really, I'm okay," she insisted.

                There was silence for a while. He just watched her finish one glass then another, asking the waiter for another round.

                "Tell me, Karen-san… do you have a problem?"

                _Was there? Is she going to tell him? Everything?_

"Hmmm… let me see," she said, leaning closer, "I just wondered what Aoki-san would look like without his glasses…"

                She then reached out and gently removed Seiichiro's glasses before he realized it.

                "K-karen-san…"

                "Of course, you're just as handsome as I imagined," she smiled, "How 'bout if some of your hair are let down?"

                She again reached out and gently pulled strands of his hair to frame his face before he could protest. He began to blush.

                "My! Aoki-san, you look ten years younger!" Karen quipped, resting her head on one hand and smiling luminously at him.

                "You're making fun of me, Karen-san… I think you're drunk."

                "No. I'm just myself, Aoki-san."

                "I really think you're drunk…"

                The first notes of a bittersweet love song filled the air. _Secret Sorrow. _

_                "Kanashimi no hontomo no wake…"_

                "Ah, my favorite song," she declares then pulled Seiichiro up, "Come on, Aoki-san, let's dance. I'll show you I'm still alright."

                "K-karen-san!"

                She pulled him to a corner of the dance floor. Seiichiro swallowed hard when he saw the few couples dancing there. They were huddled up so close.

                "Have you ever danced, Aoki-san?" Karen asks.

                "I-I don't really—"

                "You should put your hands here," Karen said, putting his hands on her waist then placed her arms around his shoulders, "…and this is where my arms should be."

                "Karen-san," he swallowed, "I-I don't really know how to—"

                "Just feel the music within you… sway to its rhythm," she whispered and rested her head on his chest. Seiichiro swallowed hard again. Karen's so close. Strands of her fragrant hair were teasing his nostrils. The music was drowned by the deafening pulse of his heart… and her breathing. He could hear it. As if she's savoring his scent.

                _You're so warm, Aoki-san. You smell so good. If I could only…_

Before Karen could make sense of what she was doing, she was softly nibbling on Seiichiro's neck. Startled, he gripped her waist.

                _Karen-san…!_

Immediately, Karen looked up. 

                "I'm sorry, Aoki-san… It's just that… it's just that…"

                His expression was a mixture of surprise and confusion, the innocent expression which Karen found so lacking in other men. The expression which she found so cute. And his lips looked so soft. Unable to resist the urge, she tiptoed and slightly brushed her lips over his. Seiichiro's eyes widened, his hands gripped her again. Surprised by her own boldness, Karen withdrew but found herself watching his face. She wanted to say sorry, that she didn't mean to do that. But the words were lost in her throat… because of his expression.

                _She's so close… she smelled so good and her lips…t-they felt good…on mine, _his mind said, racing.

                Then it happened. Both of their faces reached out at the same time, each one seeking the other's lips. The kiss was gentle, tentative at first then it gradually lost its tameness. Karen wrapped her arms tightly around Seiichiro's shoulders, her fingers twining at his hair. One of his hands skimmed up her back and rested at the nape of her neck and one clutched her waist closer to him. Before every rationality disintegrated, Seiichiro broke away, gasping for air.

                "I-I'm sorry…" he breathed, loosening his grip, "I-I think it's time for you to go home, K-karen-san…"

                What he said struck her. Slowly, she removed his hands around him.

                "It's you who needed to go home, Aoki-san. Your wife and daughter must be waiting for you," she said, struggling to maintain eye contact, smiling. "Don't let me keep you. I can take care of myself…"

                She started to walk away.

                "W-wait, Karen-san!" he called, catching up with her as she went up a nearby staircase. Her steps were dangerously unsteady.

                "A-are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

                "It's alright, Aoki-san. Don't bother yourself with me," she told him, still smiling. But as she took her next step, she nearly tripped. He rushed to support her.

                "My, my! It was dark and I couldn't see the step clearly," she reasoned. "It's okay. I can manage now."

                "Karen-san, I'm not leaving you like this," he said, looking into her eyes and refusing to release her.

                "But, Aoki-san—"

                "No, Karen-san. I'll support you," he said firmly.

                They reached the VIP room upstairs with Seiichiro half-carrying her. He opened the door and Karen broke away just as they went inside. She went off-balanced again and he caught her with one arm.

                "Thank you, Aoki-san. I'm sorry for always bothering you. I can't thank you enough but you should go home right now," she said. When he didn't answer and didn't let her go, she turned around to face him.

                "Aoki-san, really, you don't need to stay. I'm okay," she said, giving him her best smile.

                Still he wasn't letting her go. He was looking at her intently—her languid eyes, her lips, the way her curls fell around and framed her face. He knew he always considered her beautiful—but he had never acknowledged the fact that it affected him, even in the least. It was only now that he had come to allow himself to behold her this way.

                "Your wife and daughter are waiting for you…"

                "D-do you really want me to go, Karen-san?" he asked.

                Karen nodded.

                "You need to… go…" she said weakly.

                "Do you want me to?"

                She didn't answer the question. _Does it matter anyway? What she wanted? _She was surprised to hear the door locked.

                "Aoki-san…?"  
                For the first time, she saw him look at her with a man's eyes. A yearning man's eyes. His free hand held her face as he leaned down to kiss her. The other hand which still held her, gently pulled her to him. Tears almost fell from her eyes as she closed them.

                _Aoki-san…_

As the kissing become intense, they made their way towards the couch nearby. Karen relieved Seiichiro of his coat and unbuttoned his shirt while he took off her coat and undid the clasps of her corset. She pushed him down on the couch and he landed unevenly sprawled, teetering on the edge. She then straddled on his knees. He leaned forward to seek her lips again, one hand clutching her waist, the other helping her out of her corset. When it slipped to the floor, he couldn't help but explore what it revealed-- tasting the silky skin with so much aching desire he was almost on the brink of madness. Just as she was, upon experiencing it all. Unable to contain the sensations anymore, her back arched involuntarily, her weight tipping the delicate hold they had on the couch. Instinctively, she tugged on his shirt, pulling him down with her as he instantly reached out to cushion her fall with a protective embrace.

                "Are you alright, Karen-san?" he asked, hovering over her on two knees, his hands still holding her. "Are you…did I hurt you? Did I—"

                Karen hushed him with her finger on his lips. No need for words, he continued. With utmost care. Nothing mattered to sink and melt into her willing tenderness… firm and gentle, relishing yet worshipping.

                Karen awoke to find herself lying on her own bed. In her apartment.

                _Then… it was all a dream._

She stood and took off all her clothes, stepping into the bathroom to take a shower. She was surprised to find fresh red marks all over her body.

                _Aoki-san…?_

She smiled faintly as she switched the shower on, letting the rush of cold water wash all traces of his scent away. She put on a long-sleeved, turtleneck-collared maroon dress. She saw her gold cross necklace.

                _It's time for me to go to church, _she thought.

                She slipped on the necklace and went out.

                Seiichiro arrived late for work. The receptionist, along with the other employees, expressed surprise for it is an unusual occurrence. He just smiled faintly and sleepily sat on his desk. He found it impossible to begin his work.

                _Karen-san…_

He saw the framed picture of his wife and daughter on his desk. They were smiling, full of happiness. He just stared at it blankly.

                _Karen-san…_


End file.
